What Narcissists Secretly Fear

Narcissist Oceanside Malibu

A thumbnail sketch of ‘Narcissistic Personality Disorder’ is a disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Behind a mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. While narcissists might think of themselves as all-powerful and invincible,- there are a lot of things which scare them.

Relationship Commitment:  Probably one of the things which narcissists fear the most is committing to a relationship. Narcissists never let their guard down and being in a real relationship means you can’t put up walls and hide your true self as so many narcissists do. Being that close to someone also exposes their insecurities, and some narcissists are scared that their partners will find out their deepest, darkest secrets. Do you know anyone who’s like this?

Self-reflection:  When it comes to narcissists, a lot of them are in complete denial. For many, the one thing they fear most is coming to terms with who they really are. They like to think of themselves as perfect. They are afraid that if they look to deep within themselves, they will find things that they don’t want to cope with.

Insults:  Narcissists actually fear being insulted more than you might expect. Although they are quick to dish out criticism to others, they simply can’t handle a dose of their own medicine. Since most narcissists actually have really fragile self-esteem, an insult can be a humiliating blow to their inflated egos. It’s something that really disturbs them.

Shame:  Narcissistic personalities will do anything to avoid feeling the sting of shame. It’s interesting to note that while they fear shame, they don’t fear guilt. This means that they fear being seen as unworthy in society and being lower in the social hierarchy. They don’t, however, fear the guilt of actually hurting someone’s feelings.

Lack of Recognition:  In a sense, narcissists are very much like performers. They crave attention and they want to be admired more than anything else. They are terrified that their attempts to impress others will be completely ignored. While some people are fine going through life completely unnoticed, narcissists are the total opposite. They cannot stand the thought of not being exceptional.

Being exposed:  Sometimes, narcissists can find themselves in a thick web of lies that they’ve created. They might lie about their past exploits to impress people or lie to manipulate others. While these lies might help them get what they want, deep down, they have a huge fear of being exposed and getting called out on their dishonest behavior.

Gratitude:  Narcissists are also totally incapable of saying the simple words ‘thank you’.  Gratitude is a completely foreign emotion to them. Again, this probably all stems from fear. Saying, ‘thank you’ means that they are relying on someone, and narcissists will never admit that they need anybody’s help.

Mortality:  Believe it or not, many with narcissistic disorder see themselves as gods. They think they’re invincible; that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and that everything they touch will turn golden.  Self and ego are all.  Even the most powerful people on earth can’t escape death and this is something which the Narcissist particularly fears.

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